/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceHorror

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Dear Amazon, I recently purchased an Alexa voice activated assistant from you, but I think there's something very wrong with it.

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In the past I would've probably just let him kill me.

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A guy keeps giving me creepy smiles whenever I look at him, no matter how serious face I make towards him.

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I asked the fortune-teller to tell me when I'm ever going to have sex, and she said I would never have sex in my entire lifetime.

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After shooting my wife, i realized i was out of bullets.

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Henry tried to keep his mind off the fact that the ball turret he was in could only be opened from outside, as he shot at the German fighters.

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After a tiring day with my dad's funeral, I went to bed early and awoke to see my 8 year old sitting on the bed looking at me

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"No, Sarah! Don't open the door," I screamed as my sister's hand began to twist the doorknob.

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[deleted by user]

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"Doctor, how many more weeks will it take for me to get my son back?"

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
Dear Amazon, I recently purchased an Alexa voice activated assistant from you, but I think there's something very wrong with it.	42
In the past I would've probably just let him kill me.	42
A guy keeps giving me creepy smiles whenever I look at him, no matter how serious face I make towards him.	42
I asked the fortune-teller to tell me when I'm ever going to have sex, and she said I would never have sex in my entire lifetime.	42
After shooting my wife, i realized i was out of bullets.	42
Henry tried to keep his mind off the fact that the ball turret he was in could only be opened from outside, as he shot at the German fighters.	42
After a tiring day with my dad's funeral, I went to bed early and awoke to see my 8 year old sitting on the bed looking at me	42
"No, Sarah! Don't open the door," I screamed as my sister's hand began to twist the doorknob.	42
[deleted by user]	42
"Doctor, how many more weeks will it take for me to get my son back?"	42